From the New York Post (By LUKAS I. ALPERT, Wire Services):

A ghoulish gravedigger stole a skull from a broken casket in a Massachusetts church cemetery and made an ashtray of it.Keith Chartrand, of Fitchburg, also took a thighbone to make a pipe, police say.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/06232007/news/weirdbuttrue/weirdbuttrue.htm

Voracious jumbo squid invade California

MONTEREY, Calif. -- Jumbo squid that can grow up to 7 feet long and weigh more than 110 pounds are invading central California waters and preying on local anchovy, hake and other commercial fish populations, according to a study published Tuesday.





Full report: see http://www.miamiherald.com/577/story/181597.html

a picture of contentment

THE GREEN GREEN GAS OF HOME

Scientists have discovered that the average cow actually belches 100L to 200L of methane daily, contributing significantly to global warming. One way to reduce this is to introduce easier-to-digest legumes as part of the process of reducing production of methane.


And all the while I thought methane was produced by cows farting. There go my Nobel-Prize-winning plans to harness a renewable source of energy by connecting a herd of cows together.

you play, you pay

A bloodied man ran out from his car which had crashed into several other cars stopped in traffic in a St. Louis, Missouri road, and was promptly arrested and sent to hospital. Also seen leaving the car was a woman who reportedly had no pants on. It was initially thought the woman was an assault victim. It turned out that she was a stripper who had had sex with the man in a motel, and was refused payment, so she jumped into the man’s car and beat him up.


Good to know that women no longer consider themselves the weaker sex these days.

SMILE: YOU’RE ON CANDID CAMERA!

From http://www.thisistrue.com

Residents of the Fairground neighborhood in St.Louis, Mo., have long complained that local police are abusive, so the American Civil Liberties Union of Eastern Missouri has been training residents in "Know Your Rights" workshops -- and teaching them how to safely and legally videotape the actions of police officers.

Target practice for golfers

From the Miami Herald: http://www.miamiherald.com/news/weird_news/

Golfers are being told to practice their swings somewhere other than a cemetery where balls and tees dot the manicured lawn. White paint outlined five areas from which golfers teed off toward the dozens of gravestones in the Washington Township cemetery, north of Detroit.


Ouch! Careful, you dolt! You nearly hit my great-great-great grandmother on my mother's side.

That all-important pleasure spot: THE G SPOT

In April, Los Angeles gynecologist David Matlock licensed his 2-year-old G-spot-enhancing technology to 35 other doctors around the country to help spread the benefits of collagen injections that swell the so-called Grafenburg Spot (a supposedly pleasure-registering zone which is, at best, tiny and hidden, but according to some doctors, nonexistent). With the patient’s help, the doctor guides the 3-inch needle to the most promising location, and one injection renders the G-spot the size of a coin. Many patients claim their sex lives are greatly enhanced, but no peer-reviewed research has yet been done.

Story by Chuck Shepherd (News of the Weird)


Where have you been all this while, Dr. Matlock? This would the best thing for couples since Viagra.

Drunk Driving Story

Andres Vasquez, 20, of Verona, Ky., initially told the 911 operator in May that someone had “thrown” his truck on top of him, but he finally admitted he was drunk, had had a one-vehicle accident, was trapped upside-down and was in dire pain, fading in and out for over two hours to the dispatcher. The operators pleaded the entire time for Vasquez to just say where he was so that they could send a rescue party, but, as the Kentucky Enquirer put it, “When repeatedly asked his location, (Vasquez’s) answer was always the same: ‘I’m under the (expletive) truck.”’ (He finally gave a clue and was rescued.)

Story by Chuck Shepherd (News of the Weird)

Then again...... far better that a drunk driver hurt himself than hurt others.

You have heard of tear-jerkers. Get prepared for a jerker of a different sort.

An Orange County resident N.H. Chokr was sentenced to 5 years and 8months in the California State Prison for serially exposing himself and masturbating in public. His defence: the women he was accused of exposing himself to were actually so turned on by him when he was wearing his tight pants that they were demanding sex from him and grabbing him by his whatsit, and reported him to the police when he rejected them.





Orange County women must be really interesting and nice. Now, that's where I'm gonna go on my next trip. And I'll bring along my good friend Borat from the Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. And he'll bring along his nice one-piece swimsuit.

Pay for your dogs, man

Thomas Wimberly, 74, was arrested in July 2006 for stealing two hot dogs (value: $2.11, including tax) from a Quik Trip convenience store in Wichita, Kan. (though he said he had merely forgotten to pay). ...............

For full news, see http://www.mankatofreepress.com/webextra/local_story_195001009.html


Give the poor guy a chance, man. He's old, he's forgetful.........